This is not one of those 2011 retrospectives. As far as I'm concerned, this past year was a blur of motion around me as I more or less stood still, waiting for opportunities that never came to present themselves. Really, the less said about 2011 the better, probably. Don't get me wrong - some things happened.
Among the ennui and the malaise some great, amazing, fabulous things occurred. I took on more than a few challenges and managed to eke out some accomplishments. I adopted a dog (which resulted in no small amount of stress and angst, some of which still resurfaces, even as I approach the one-year mark). I became more active and lost a little weight. I wrote some things. I actually had a short story published in an anthology. In that respect, a goal was met head on.
But so many other goals fell by the wayside. Some plans, despite my best efforts, are on indefinite hold. 2011 was a year of feeling caught in the current at the whim of forces often beyond my control. A little stick circling endlessly in swirling eddies of detritus. (This is a sad image, no?)
So forget that mess. It is all onward and upward as we venture into 2012. This has all the hallmarks of a Very Big Year. I celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary at the end of the month. We have a quick trip out of state tentatively scheduled in a couple of weeks. My son turns 10 and I turn 35 later this spring. My little sister graduates high school and goes off to college in the summer {sniff}. Things are definitely happening in 2012.
It's up to me to fill in the gaps and make the coming year kick the lackadaisical ass of the year that came before. Take the mighty axe of life's constant ineffable battle to cleave the skull of complacency and forge bravely past the prone bodies of my fallen brothers on to great and glorious victory, if you will. After all, this is the ramp-up to Ragnarök*. Lets take this baby out in some Wagnerian style, yeah? And don't forget to venerate your ancestors. Oh, and sacrifice some maidens. The Gods really like that!
Now, I don't like to make resolutions. They just smack of lip-service paid to the herd mentality, and there's nothing worse than self-lies because "everyone else is doing it". After all, we have enough people around us every single day dealing out their lies to us...why exacerbate this by internalizing bullshit and making empty promises we have no intention of keeping, anyway? So no resolutions. What I do agree with, though, is using the past as a roadmap to move forward. In that regard, I have a handy list of things to stop doing in 2012 (recommended reading from Chuck Wendig at terribleminds), and a list of minor "to-do" items to keep me moving forward.
I think of my goals as *anti-resolutions*, which means I am an anti-resolutionary...(also, a comedian, nyuk-nyuk!)
- I had planned to read 40 books in 2011. I fell one short, so I have revised my expectations for 2012 to 30 books, since I might be taking classes again this year, which cuts into recreational reading.
- I wrote more in 2011 than I had in years, but my stress levels rose mid-year and free time became an issue, causing my writing to drop off. I'd like to make more time for writing, which means prioritizing my time differently without sacrificing my other obligations.
- Enjoy more. More fun. More friends. More happiness. More of everything.
- Take chances. For a little while over the last couple of years I'd been casting a wider and wider net, sending out feelers that too often resulted in dampened hopes. The economy still isn't great, but hope springs eternal, of course. So I'll keep plugging along, throwing myself at whatever opportunities come along and see what I can latch onto like a facehugger ready to deposit that Queen Alien inside my victim's gut...oh, that's a bit of imagery, isn't it?
*Per SIR John Hodgman, visionary, for these, our pre-apocalyptic times.
**Plus I hear that plated mail is all the thing in RTW this year!

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