Sticks and stones will break our bones...or cause us to choke and die a terrible agonizing death

I know, that title is very long. But there's no way to succinctly and delicately say "I think I almost died today". But it's true. Or, it feels true. Here's what happened:

My boss took me out to lunch at a nice local restaurant this afternoon after she finished giving me my very late performance evaluation (summary: I'm not much of a team player, but aside from my obvious lack of personal satisfaction with my job and a problem with getting projects done within her deadlines, I'm "doing great" and the other VP considers me "mission critical").

At lunch I ordered a grilled mahi mahi sandwich on cuban bread with plantain chips. The service was really slow, and by the time we got our order we were running late.

The sandwich had been cut in half, with two toothpicks holding the top and bottom together (this is fairly standard for sandwiches). It looked great, so I took a nice-sized bite because I was in a hurry now, with lunch running kind of late, and chewed and swallowed. And to my horror discovered that something was caught in my throat. I thought it might be a bone. I could breathe, so that was okay, but this thing was sharp, and poking both sides of my throat. And it HURT. I must have had a really panicked look on my face when I told my boss that there was something in my throat, because she said "Do I need to call somone?". I tried to be calm, and shook my head no and we walked to the bathroom, where I had to stick my finger in my throat and try to pull out whatever was stuck there, without causing any more pain, or causing serious damage to myself in the process.

It turns out that it was not a fish bone, as I had thought, but a piece of toothpick from my sandwich, which had broken off and been hidden in the layers of mahi and cheese and peppers. Luckily for me, it was slightly too wide to have slipped very far down my throat, and I was able to get to it with not too much difficulty (or engaging my gag reflex). I wrapped the offending obstruction in a napkin and washed my hands, and pondered the ridiculousness of the situation for a few minutes before the boss and I went back to our table. With an abundance of caution, I finished that half of my sandwich. The waitress, who had apparently overheard part of the conversation prior to my boss and I disappearing into the restroom, came by to check on me and then sent the manager over, who asked if I was okay, and apologized, then gave me his card in case it turned out that there might have been any serious damage caused by the errant toothick. He also comped my sandwich off of the lunch bill, which was very generous of him, considering how much of a random accident the whole thing was.

My throat still feels pretty sore, so I'm sure it's irritated, but all in all, considering what could have happened, had that piece of wood been just millimeters shorter, I feel pretty good. Kind of lucky, actually. I'll probably end up making an appointment with an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist, if the discomfort persists, but otherwise I think I'm fine.

Of all the potential hazards and possible modes of early death that I could ever imagine, "Death By Toothpick" has never even made the list. Go figure...